Sexting is for teens, right? Wrong. Sexting is for the young ones though, right? Wrong. So, who today sexts? Well, let me share a few secrets about sexting…
What makes you feel bloody good on the inside? A gesture, a compliment, some attention or maybe a text message at a random time during the day reminding you about how sexy and desirable you are? Sexting can be better than foreplay! Seriously! I do not care whether you are 20 or 60… if you have not been sexting with your partner then after you read this article, go give it a shot and let me know how you get on!
It is a fun and flirty way to stay connected to your partner or become even more connected. It helps to keep a little sex on your mind during the day, and on your partner’s brain but also adds a little adventure, especially if you see little of each other. Adding a little adventure outside of the sometimes-monotonous relationship can recreate some of the feelings from earlier on in your relationship.
Righto, here are my top ten tips to sexting:
- Code: Work out a bit of code for ‘are you busy?’ or just ask them. If they are having a rough day, full of meetings and travel then they may not be in the right mood for a little sexting, hence why code can be safe, with no feelings of rejection associated. My advice, when you want to try sexting simply text him with ‘are you busy?’ and go from there. As you venture into more frequent sexting, move to a cute emoji as the code for ‘are you busy?’
- Steady, steady: It really is so much like foreplay that you must start slowly… Send a subtle text like ‘keen to play?’ or a photo of a little skin… Flirt. Relate back to a previous encounter, ‘I keep thinking about last night…’ and ‘how hot you were when you…’ This will straight away spark their mind to sex!
- Roleplay: This is roleplaying! You are in control and they are submissive to you, initially and of course this could change as you go. Use your words, tone, voice, photos to slightly arouse your partner and get them a little stimulated… it won’t take much.
- Play it Safe: Whether you talk about intimate sexual acts, or simple delicate comments around seeing each other, it is up to you, but I will suggest pushing the boundary just a little bit. Do not stay in your comfort zone altogether… go on… be a dare devil and play a little outside of the safety net, but make sure it still feels safe.
- Sex Code: Know what code to use, especially if you want to maintain a little code of conduct. The eggplant and banana are often used to represent the penis. A peach represents the bottom and a pussy cat references to the vagina. The emoji with the tongue sticking out indicates desire, and the raindrops indicate wetness or ejaculate.
- Word play: Maybe get your partner to send a selfie and use your words carefully around how you describe them or provoke them. Be descriptive, be sexy and add a little rudeness. Play with what you want them to do to you, or relate it to personal experiences around what they have done to you recently and build on that…
- Sexplore: Texting is a little less confronting than a face to face chat so see this as an opportunity to explore boundaries, fantasies and new sexual acts that you could try out. So much less pressure exists when you sext, so play… be as carefree with it as you feel safe and see where you both end up. Remember, with a text, you can always blame autocorrect.
- Detail: This is an opportunity to explore fantasies but also describe in detail the intimate detail to every seductive act, or aspiration. Whether it is what you might do to your partner, or what you want them to do to you, use this sexting as a way to really explain the details. It not only helps them and you to visualise it better, but both of you will learn more about each other sexually.
- Slang: It is not overly stimulating when your partner uses the correct terminology. How about this, ‘I would like to put my erect penis between your cleavage and have you slowly move your body up and down’. Seriously! That would dampen my sexting fun. If he said this, ‘I can imagine my hard cock sliding slowly between your sexy round breasts’ it just might have a little more impact. This is between YOU and YOUR PARTNER, nobody else… so get a little loose with your words and play.
- GIF: Add a GIF or a meme to the chat! It can really help them visualise, but also it can complement your sexting.
Go give it a shot! If your partner seems a little rocked by your first attempt, then do not be put off and try it again another time. If it is new to the both of you, then remember to just take it steady and most importantly have some fun.