Do You Have Bored Housewife Syndrome?
I am writing this as a forty-something year young housewife, with a mob of kids between 5 and 15 and a career that, oh hold on, career? Did I say career? Or was that autocorrect for carer? Yup. That’s my life – I am a bloody carer! A carer of the home, the hubby, the children, the bills, the garden, the pets, the washing, the cleaning and the meals. I am the carer and provider of just about everything that affects my family and sh!t it can be boring!
But… come on! I cannot whinge, right? I chose this life! I chose my hubby! I chose to have children and I chose to stay home and raise them! I choose to cook, clean and I choose to make sure we always have everything that we need, want and desire. There is not one thing any of my family ask for that I do not make sure happens. Yup – I absolutely spoil them, but do I have Bored Housewife Syndrome (BHS)?
Of course I do! I do the same sh!t just about every single day and I put up with the same flack from this lot… I cop it, and some days… yes, some days… I cop it more than you could imagine… from all of them! I am the walking dartboard and they are my darts… sharp, pointy, painful little prods coming at me from every direction!
I can work my ass off every day and there will be no word of thanks, no appreciation, and no recognition. What the hell? What is the point if nobody around here even appreciates me and what I do?
The cliched response? Ok, the cliched response to BHS is this:
‘Make some time for you and your partner (vomit!! I have enough time with my family – I just want to get in touch with ME again) and maybe take the family out for a lovely meal (seriously? My cooking beats bought tucker any day! So, wasting over $150 is not on the cards!) and think about playing a nice family game (yeah right? That ends up in a screaming match and hubby getting grumpy for the rest of the night because the kids beat him…no thanks).
How about this:
‘Eat well (because I never ever emotion-eat, nooooo not me… and do not tell me to give up my wine!), exercise and look after yourself (hahahaha because anybody even notices?? I love this one!) and wear nice clothes, make effort with your hair and make-up every now and again (are you frigging kidding?? Like I even have time!?) and tell yourself you are special and worth it (again – classic! You feel like a failure with your hubby, your kids, and your life half the time because you just never seem to get ahead). If you invest a little effort into YOU, then you will start to feel happier and content inside (what a heap of poo! The only way I would feel better is if they all started to look after themselves a bit more and appreciate me. Do they even know I am here?).
Or I love this suggestion:
“Try starting a project (wtf? Because I have nothing else to do???) or try painting, redecorating or shifting all the furniture around to change how the home looks and feels (waaaaay too much effort!!) or maybe learn a new skill (more bloody $$ and time! ARGHH!). Perhaps organise a nice dinner, inviting friends over (sh!t, I’d be in bed by 9pm) or hold a party (are you having a laugh? This is way too much hassle and expense just for the hubby to wipe himself out).
But this one tops them all:
‘Put some effort into your hard-working hubby (meh) and remember to appreciate him (yaaaaawn) as he works so hard every day to support you (and he is clearly the only one?). Maybe plan a romantic night with a lovely dinner, candles and a bath together (yeah… watch the kids do finger painting with hot wax all over the satin tablecloth) and then put on a nice movie (ever tried to find a movie for a family of 6 to watch? We end up watching 2hrs of trailers on Netflix) and give your hubby the loving he deserves (ohhhhhh yes… ‘give’ one last time because you haven’t ‘given’ enough all bloody day and you are so full of energy).
The truth is ladies, re-read this whole yarn and think about your life!
With every single suggestion above, you are choosing your attitude. I am not saying you should not feel like you do have BHS and you are allowed to have a whinge. But seriously, if you feel this way, then deal with it! You are one of the strongest and most powerful beings on this planet. You have your sh!t together and the only reason nobody around you acknowledges you is because THEY THINK YOU HAVE YOUR SH!T TOGETHER!! The only reason you cop it, is because THEY THINK YOU HAVE YOUR SH!T TOGETHER! And you know why you are reading this? Because you DO have your sh!t together! Honestly, you do not have to be on top of the washing, cleaning, cooking and gardening to prove you have it together, because as you know IT DOES NOT MATTER! You are doing what you NEED to do, and if you really think about it… deep down, you know it (you just may not feel it). You might have BHS because this is exactly what BHS is – a bloody amazing woman who is nailing it! And you ARE!
Bored? You are in a routine, and may have been in this rhythm and routine for the past decade or more, so swap it all about and shake everything up but keep on doing what you do so well, which is raising and teaching your little ones and embedding your values, and love into everyone around you.
Smile. Just smile. This might be your life but is it really that bad? Are you safe? Do you have everything you really need? Are your children smiling? Is your family healthy? Are you healthy? If you answer yes to all these, then I think you can smile. 😊 You are rocking it as a mum and housewife so take a breath and respect yourself for that. I know I do.
Feel like you have time on your hands? Still struggling to appreciate all you have to offer? Give me a yell and I will help you work it out!
You matter… we all do!