Alright ladies, I am going to be quite frank with you now… we all crave intimacy and for us, sex is very much about our feelings, mind, memory and more often the emotional feelings of connection but do you honestly think that it is the same for a bloke?
Well, it is, but in a different way. I am going to run through some of the perspectives that guys who have come to me through my career, have eventually shared. (I say ‘eventually’ because this stuff is not easy for a guy to admit. As much as we have our (probably culturally influenced) hang-ups on sex, for a bloke to admit some of what I am about to share is tough).
First up, most men want, need and crave sexual expression because of the massive amounts of testosterone powering through their bodies. This is what causes your man to react the way he does when he sees you walk out of the shower or taking your underwear off to get ready for bed. Your naked body stimulates and activates his internal chemistry to direct the mind’s psyche in a sexual way. Basically, I am telling you when you see that sexual animal come out – this is being driven by his chemistry, in response to you.
What do you love? A new dress perhaps? A choccie biscuit and a cup of tea? Maybe you love a massage, or a yummy dessert. Well, for your bloke he craves sex like you crave any of your lovely little luxuries or treats. A day is not quite complete without a little dessert, and your man has one specific dessert that he thinks about – sex! If this does not sound like your bloke, then stress, work or an argument with you, could dampen his appetite for the delicious mouth-watering dessert he instinctively desires. Some men also do not have typically high levels of testosterone, so if it doesn’t sound like your guy, this could be why.
Want to know a secret? If you want a happy, energetic and pretty active man in your life then you know what he needs to achieve this? Sex with you! Seriously! I said that I was going to be honest, and here it is! Your man pushes through the day, dealing with monotony and sometimes carrying out tasks that are not overly stimulating or exciting, but one thing that gets him through this is his sexual dessert at the end of the day. Drive, aggression, power and confidence are all traits that can help your bloke with his work and career purpose but if he is to go well, then that hormonal energy can provide his fuel and drive to do so. You can help him! Sexuality gives a guy excitement and their crave for sex is pretty intense, so them fantasising over their sexual dessert will motivate them through the day.
Have you any idea how much power you have with your man? Every smile, wink, flicker of the eye, flirty act or pose will hit on his brain and when something or someone reminds him of sex, his brainwaves spike with elation.
We tease a bloke for having a one-track mind, but the way a guy gives love and receives sexual satisfaction is through pleasuring their partner. Seriously, that moment your guy turns you on, brings to him intense sexual connection with you. Your man wants to satisfy you. To him, this is often the most important aspect of your sex life together and believe me when I tell you that he is often thinking about how he can be a better lover.
So, I get that as women we like to feel ‘desired’ by our guys, but they like to feel desired by us too! This is another important part of his relationship with you – being desired by you! He might be this chemical-driven hormonal single-minded love making machine when it comes to sex but remember that is not all he is. Making love to you creates deep feelings of attachment, care and security for him.
For men, this physical connection is what enables safety for feelings of vulnerability and deep connection. As women, we want the emotional connection first, followed by the physical connection.
Have a think about your partner’s sexual drive and see it as a gift to you, your relationship and to the love you both share.